First Call

Nice Guys finish last?

2005-06-19T21:49:00.000-07:00

As always we at First Call would like to thank you, the readers, for your thoughtful and candid comments. Keep the conversation flowing, and we will continue posting the feedback we receive. Cheers!

"I was reading the "Ode to Nice Guys" and also the rebuttal from the rice student. Without much ego, I am a nice guy, never been laid, only had 1 girlfriend, and was treated like shit. Consistantly I am there for all my friends that are girls. Shamelessly driving them to the furthest reaches of the world for little, materialistic needs, that siphon my dwindling gas supply. I get nothing from it. Perhaps the major variable we are missing from this entire discussion is guys and girls are blatantly shallow. Admittedly, the nice guys are most likely not the cutest guys. They are the ok guy/girl, or the semi ok looking guy/girl. It seems, to me atleast, that the real reasion for this nice guy/nice girl phenomenon is our society's desire to make everyone and everything pretty. If we were raised to go for the nice guy, not the hott guy, then we would not have a problem at all.

Nonetheless, someday, I want one of my attractive female friends, whom I spent an hour chearing up, to just ask me if I want to make out for 3 weeks strait, maybe as a little "way to go bro" from god, or fate.
-Adam H. Ft. Worth, Texas

"That was the greatest thing that ive ever read and it hit home all to well and it was almost to scary to finisih cause i could relate to alot cause we do get treated like shit and dont get credited for all the nice things we do but keep on doin them because it is second nature but i know in the end that we will find the right girl or the right girl will come to us."
-Matt

"Just found your "Nice guys finish last" article on the internet. I must say that it is one of the best things I have ever read. I can also relate to it. It is so good to know that atleast one person knows how we get forgotten and pushed aside. I just wanted to commend you on this and thank someone for seeing this. It made me feel good. Thanks,"
-Bryan Winchester, VA

Glorious Summer

2005-06-18T21:30:00.000-07:00

We hope you are having a fantastic summer and that you are eagerly awaiting our newest issue, due out during NSO in the fall (we sure are). We here at First Call are excited that we still get fanmail in the summer about "Ode to the Nice Guys" and encourage it to keep on coming and sparking lively discussion on our comment boards!

We got a comment asking for where one can find similar writing to the Ode and to First Call in general. The following websites usually don't disappoint:
http://www.mcsweeneys.net/
http://www.newyorker.com/
http://www.slate.com/

Happy reading/working/swimming/composing/stalking/lollygagging!

Squash those sour grapes

2005-04-12T17:50:00.000-07:00

In life every good event needs its grouch, and springtime at Penn is no exception; Pauline Park’s April 11th article on Penn’s fashion-conscious complex raised some interesting points but, as it stands, is begging for a rebuttal.

The author writes that her insecurities flare up when Penn girls and guys strut their stuff around Locust in expensive clothing shedding the “androgyny” of winter. This is a case of selective attention, not of a dangly-earring fetish gone awry. The author notices well-dressed people everywhere and they seem to multiply for her because she does not share their “passion for fashion.” Playing devil’s advocate, these are college students on the first warm day after months spent enduring Philly’s trademark wintry misery. The author writes that “one’s image is blinding in that it dictates how you first judge someone” and this piece is a living example of it. On the bottom of page 5 a judgment has been passed for all to see: Penn students dress well, and are thus daft and superficial.

There is no need “feel sorry for the kids visiting with their parents and tour groups.” When parents and pre-frosh see happy students walking around enjoying the weather, the feeling is contagious. Penn’s students on the Walk are a better advertisement for the University than any brochure or jam-packed speech in Houston can ever be. Those who prefer to see students with their heads down wearing potato sacks can choose their colleges accordingly.

I see the author’s basic message, however, and the issue could have been approached from another angle. Conformity, for instance, is that pesky buzzword of youth that follows us as much as we follow it, Ugg-boots and all. Moreover, I agree that “the desire to look perfect has consequences” and Penn’s alarmingly high eating disorder statistics are indeed tragic. These are the real underlying issues of this iceberg. For now, I suppose we can put a sign in Rosengarten to turn down the Ipod-volumes to a decent level for those who go there to learn (right?), not to people-watch.

More Nice Guys

2005-04-11T19:59:00.000-07:00

"In response to the Ode to the nice guys, I must point out that for every nice guy out there there is a "nice girl" as well. There should be an ode to the girls who are always only friends with the boys, even the "nice guys" because they are sitting there trying to figure out why the "manipulative bitches" only want to be friends. The "nice guys" would start getting laid if they started looking at the nice girls instead of the manipulative bitches. We might not stand out in a crowd but we make just as good of girlfriends as we do friends, we don't flirt with you shamelessly just to get attention and we don't use you to get the hot boys. The nice guys need to stop complaining about not getting any from the hot girls because they are treating the nice girls the exact same way those hot girls treat them."

-Rice University student

For more engaged dialogue, e-mail fcpaper@wharton.upenn.edu and you'll get a prompt and chipper response from an editor(ess). Come on, you know you want to. Thanks for a great semester!

Letter to the Editor

2005-03-26T14:05:00.000-08:00

To the Editors:
I liked Anna Strongin’s article on medical marijuana in First Call because she leans toward the same conclusion I have reached: that marijuana should be taxed and regulated like alcohol and tobacco. However, I also support federal and state bills which would allow patients’ access to marijuana for medical purposes. Strongin proposes that “the more effective option” is federally endorsed research, but the DEA forbids medical research involving marijuana (see http://www.maps.org/mmj/). Strongin also says that medical marijuana is a bad idea because it will allow “another channel for drug attainment”— right after she herself says that 50% of Americans have already tried the drug. If half of all Americans have already tried marijuana, then clearly most Americans already have access to it under prohibition—potentially black-marketed medical marijuana will be available to very few people who can’t already obtain this drug. Since medical marijuana laws won’t make marijuana available to many more people, but will immeasurably benefit sick and dying patients by mitigating their symptoms and relieving their pain, the government should allow medical research into the uses of this drug.
Jesse Stout, Brown ‘06

Anna's response:
Dear Jesse,
First of all, I’d like to thank you for responding to my column. It’s particularly flattering to know that my writing has somehow made its way all the way to Brown.
Firstly, I realize marijuana research is currently forbidden, but as shown most recently by the Terri Schiavo case, efficiency or effectiveness is not one of our legislature’s and judicial system’s strong points, especially when it comes to controversial, ethical issues. Creating bills, on any government level, supporting patients’ rights to use marijuana for medical purposes, would be an extremely tedious, time-consuming and expensive process. If the legislature is going to waste its time on anything, it might as well look into allowing research on the drug or legalizing it entirely.

The former scenario, as I noted in my article, could lead to the development of new drugs that will provide relief from pain and chemotherapy side effects on a much larger scale and by a healthier means than currently available. Of course, I won’t deny that this would be a somewhat lengthy process, but a law allowing limited legal use of something that would remain illegal for the majority is opening a can of worms, which brings me to the latter scenario. Many issues, such as who is to have the right of legal access to marijuana and how and by whom it is to be administered, will bog down the decision-makers in this issue for years. If we were instead to take the less controversial idea— legalizing marijuana research (or the less gray-area idea, legalizing marijuana entirely) then the issue could be resolved far faster.

As far as my point about the effect of legalization of medical marijuana on overall use of the drug goes, I was showing that such a policy would introduce an additional channel for the drug’s distribution. The smarter thing to do would be just to legalize it altogether and as a result transfer full authority over the drug to a single group, state and/or federal government. Also, I was using the fact that 50% of Americans have at some point tried the drug to illustrate that there are very few obstacles standing between a person and the next high. Legalizing medical marijuana would eliminate even more obstacles by providing a new means of getting the drug and by removing moral qualms non-users might have about smoking by associating the legitimate concept of health with the drug.

Finally, I don’t think it can be assumed that by not legalizing the drug we are cruelly punishing a large number of sick, suffering individuals. While it is true that, for some people, marijuana really helps relieve pain or other discomfort, the drug is not the only thing out there to alleviate these symptoms. In fact, it is only in very unique cases that no other drug can do for the patient what marijuana can. Granted, those people cannot be disregarded, but it is also important to look at the big picture; the drug would serve many more people if its beneficial properties were identified and studied.

I think that, for the most part, the two of us are in agreement on the issues and I just wanted to clarify my stance because I think that you misinterpreted it slightly. Thanks, once again, for taking the time to read and respond to my article.

Anna

Long and strong

2005-03-26T13:58:00.000-08:00

Greetings, readers!

There are only 2 weeks of First Call left for the academic year and we have more fantastic content, cutting edge FirstCallisms, brilliant photographs that are even better in black and white, and cheeky witticisms for your reading pleasure.

Drop us a line if there's anything you'd like to see in upcoming issues, or if you want to propose marriage to any of the editors, or you want to submit a haiku for our Haiku Corner. We love hearing from you!

Red Cross Link

2005-02-27T17:41:00.000-08:00

First Call readers:

Please help us and the Red Cross out by clicking on the following link, to check out Blood Drive schedules around UPenn's campus.

http://penn.givesblood.org/firstcall

February 28th Issue!

2005-02-27T10:40:00.000-08:00

Rob's Oscar Contest!

2005-02-19T14:22:00.000-08:00

Who will win at the Oscars?
Are you good at guessing?

Be the First Call reader to correctly predict the most winners of this year's Academy Awards.

E-mail Rob (robertf@wharton.upenn.edu) by midnight Saturday February 26

Win a copy of this year's Best Picture on DVD!

- NOMINATIONS BY CATEGORY -
THE 77TH ANNUAL ACADEMY AWARDS®
February 27, 2005 - 8e/5p on ABC

ACTOR IN A LEADING ROLE
Don Cheadle - HOTEL RWANDA
Johnny Depp - FINDING NEVERLAND
Leonardo DiCaprio - THE AVIATOR
Clint Eastwood - MILLION DOLLAR BABY
Jamie Foxx - RAY

ACTOR IN A SUPPORTING ROLE
Alan Alda - THE AVIATOR
Thomas Haden Church - SIDEWAYS
Jamie Foxx - COLLATERAL
Morgan Freeman - MILLION DOLLAR BABY
Clive Owen - CLOSER

ACTRESS IN A LEADING ROLE
Annette Bening - BEING JULIA
Catalina Sandino Moreno - MARIA FULL OF GRACE
Imelda Staunton - VERA DRAKE
Hilary Swank - MILLION DOLLAR BABY
Kate Winslet - ETERNAL SUNSHINE OF THE SPOTLESS MIND

ACTRESS IN A SUPPORTING ROLE
Cate Blanchett - THE AVIATOR
Laura Linney - KINSEY
Virginia Madsen - SIDEWAYS
Sophie Okonedo - HOTEL RWANDA
Natalie Portman - CLOSER

ANIMATED FEATURE FILM
THE INCREDIBLES
SHARK TALE
SHREK 2

ART DIRECTION
THE AVIATOR
FINDING NEVERLAND
LEMONY SNICKET'S A SERIES OF UNFORTUNATE EVENTS
THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA
A VERY LONG ENGAGEMENT

CINEMATOGRAPHY
THE AVIATOR
HOUSE OF FLYING DAGGERS
THE PASSION OF THE CHRIST
THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA
A VERY LONG ENGAGEMENT

COSTUME DESIGN
THE AVIATOR
FINDING NEVERLAND
LEMONY SNICKET'S A SERIES OF UNFORTUNATE EVENTS
RAY
TROY

DIRECTING
THE AVIATOR
MILLION DOLLAR BABY
RAY
SIDEWAYS
VERA DRAKE

DOCUMENTARY FEATURE
BORN INTO BROTHELS
THE STORY OF THE WEEPING CAMEL
SUPER SIZE ME
TUPAC: RESURRECTION
TWIST OF FAITH

DOCUMENTARY SHORT SUBJECT
AUTISM IS A WORLD
THE CHILDREN OF LENINGRADSKY
HARDWOOD
MIGHTY TIMES: THE CHILDREN'S MARCH
SISTER ROSE'S PASSION

FILM EDITING
THE AVIATOR
COLLATERAL
FINDING NEVERLAND
MILLION DOLLAR BABY
RAY

FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILM
AS IT IS IN HEAVEN
THE CHORUS
DOWNFALL
THE SEA INSIDE
YESTERDAY

MAKEUP
LEMONY SNICKET'S A SERIES OF UNFORTUNATE EVENTS
THE PASSION OF THE CHRIST
THE SEA INSIDE

MUSIC (SCORE)
FINDING NEVERLAND
HARRY POTTER AND THE PRISONER OF AZKABAN
LEMONY SNICKET'S A SERIES OF UNFORTUNATE EVENTS
THE PASSION OF THE CHRIST
THE VILLAGE

MUSIC (SONG)
"Accidentally In Love" - SHREK 2
"Al Otro Lado Del Río" - THE MOTORCYCLE DIARIES
"Believe" - THE POLAR EXPRESS
"Learn To Be Lonely" - THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA
"Look To Your Path (Vois Sur Ton Chemin)" - THE CHORUS

BEST PICTURE
THE AVIATOR
FINDING NEVERLAND
MILLION DOLLAR BABY
RAY
SIDEWAYS

SHORT FILM (ANIMATED)
BIRTHDAY BOY
GOPHER BROKE
GUARD DOG
LORENZO
RYAN

SHORT FILM (LIVE ACTION)
EVERYTHING IN THIS COUNTRY MUST
LITTLE TERRORIST
7:35 IN THE MORNING
TWO CARS, ONE NIGHT
WASP

SOUND EDITING
THE INCREDIBLES
THE POLAR EXPRESS
SPIDER-MAN 2

SOUND MIXING
THE AVIATOR
THE INCREDIBLES
THE POLAR EXPRESS
RAY
SPIDER-MAN 2

VISUAL EFFECTS
HARRY POTTER AND THE PRISONER OF AZKABAN
I, ROBOT
SPIDER-MAN 2

WRITING (ADAPTED SCREENPLAY)
BEFORE SUNSET
FINDING NEVERLAND
MILLION DOLLAR BABY
THE MOTORCYCLE DIARIES
SIDEWAYS

WRITING (ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY)
THE AVIATOR
ETERNAL SUNSHINE OF THE SPOTLESS MIND
HOTEL RWANDA
THE INCREDIBLES
VERA DRAKE

Valentine's Day Issue Link

2005-02-19T13:24:00.000-08:00

A link to our VDay issue:

Some comments about "Ode to a Nice Guy"

2005-02-19T10:08:00.001-08:00

We have received a few emails, since "Ode to a Nice Guy" has received so much press. Here are a few. Feel free to comment as well.

Dear FirstCall,
I was directed to your "Ode to the Nice Guys" by one of good friends. I must say that it was nice to get some recognition for all the times I've been there for the girls I know. It shed nice light on the hypocrisy of the whole situation of how girls always want that nice guy boyfriend when they always overlook the close nice guy friends they have. I'm not one to say that they are all "just illogical, manipulative bitches" but it is nice to know that people understand what it is to be the nice guy and to rarely be recognizedas being one. All the times I've heard the "it would ruin our friendship" lines and the times that the girls I've had feelings for, where I have been the one to watch them as they date jerk after jerk and think that they'll never find that nice guy that will treat them right, it's after I've seen all this that I can really respect the fact that FirstCall printed or at least posted an Ode to guys. In the end, I just wanted to thank everyone there at FirstCall for understanding. Good luck with your Publication and thanks again, you made my night in reading your Ode to Nice Guys.

- An Eastern Michigan University Student

Another response:

first of on response to ur ode to the nice guy article guys bitch 2 i listen to my guy friends bitch all the time and 2nd of all girls get sick ofthe assholes pretty soon and the "nice guy" is exactly the type of guy they look for next just sometimes they are too pussy to make the move and then in turn lose their chances.

Continuing:

I was given a link by a friend to your rant. It was amazing. i now show it to everyone i can. Its soooo true. I experience it many times. its the sad truth. It all put into writing was awesome. I just felt i had to let whoever wrote that article know that i fully enjoyed it and will continue to show all my friends.

And:

I would like to congratulate Fu-Zu for being such a damn genious. I finally figured out what i am in this world right now....a fucking nice guy. Every point she made was true, i was moved by the article, it really opened my mind up and showed me that my day will come, Whoever reads this I would appreciate it if someone would thank Fu-Zu for me personally.

And:

I was wondering ig i could add an extension to that "Ode to the Nice Guys"

Some people say that ignorance is bliss? It really is for one simple reason. Ignorance saves you from knowing who and why people are screwing you over. If you are not one of the ignorant ones and know this there is one eternal constant. This goes out to all the nice guys.

The one thing in life that never changes is how people betray and use one another.

Yet why do some go on helping others if this constant is so true? Is it hope, passion, or just plain congeniality?

Ill Tell you what it is it's Stupidity and for some people that have been deemed or blessed to be smart seem to be the stupidest ones of them all. Most of the “Nice Guys” out there know this to be true. Only if Humanity realized that the moral basis for itself is not for the benefit of the one it’s to help the others that may sometimes need a hand, a boost, or maybe just someone to lean on. The nice guys are the epitome of this rule. They are abused, spit on; and forgotten. They are condemned for one thing they might say, when all other gracious and congenial acts before are null and void.

Maybe this sounds naive, cynical or whatever but, for some “Nice Guy” who has come to learn the truth about the real intentions of 98% of the people out there that you help it hurts truly and deeply even more. My ways, however, will never change. Neither should any of the other “Nice Guys”. There is still that 2% of the population out there and until they are found whoever they maybe this is for you guys.

And, there have been more:

I would just like to make a little comment, if respect of the women out there that are actually really looking for nice guys. If you ahven't realized yet I am making a comment towards the article named "ODE TO THE NICE GUY". Women who say they are looking for a nice guy, usually means that they really are looking for a nice guy, and the assholes they end up with act like they are at first, and then once they get what they want that is when you realize he is an Ass. Those really good guy friends that we have, that you claim are the nice guys only act nice b/c deep down they know no one will like them if they act like everybody else because usually they are UGLY. Ugly guys usually realize that they are ugly in their teens years and they now that if they try to act like Mr. Tough Guy, no girl is gonna want him. A. because he is ugly, and B. Because he is an ass. So these Ugly guys decide that the only way they can get a girl is if they a! re nice. Nice guys can get girls, it's just nice guys that are ugly have high expectations for themselves, and then once they can't get with that girl they bitch and complain about how they are soooo nice. Well Mr. Nice guy, look in the mirror. I have a friend who sent this to me because he wants me to realize that he is the one for me and that I play him. Well sorry I am already dating a nice guy, and I have to say yes my friends is nice but he isn't attractive at all. So the next time you feel like writing soemthing for all those nice guys out there, you better take other things into consideration first that all nice guys might not be that good looking and that are setting their expectations WAY Way too high!

Ode to the Nice Guy

2005-02-18T12:31:00.000-08:00

This article was published in First Call over a year ago, and yet we are continuing to receive a never-ending flurry of comments over it. It's by Fu-zu Jen, a SEAS/WH '03 grad. We may publish some of those comments ...

This is a tribute to the nice guys. The nice guys that finish last, that never become more than friends, that endure hours of whining and bitching about what assholes guys are, while disproving the very point. This is dedicated to those guys who always provide a shoulder to lean on but restrain themselves to tentative hugs, those guys who hold open doors and give reassuring pats on the back and sit patiently outside the changing room at department stores. This is in honor of the guys that obligingly reiterate how cute/beautiful/smart/funny/sexy their female friends are at the appropriate moment, because they know most girls need that litany of support. This is in honor of the guys with open minds, with laid-back attitudes, with honest concern. This is in honor of the guys who respect a girl’s every facet, from her privacy to her theology to her clothing style.

This is for the guys who escort their drunk, bewildered female friends back from parties and never take advantage once they’re at her door, for the guys who accompany girls to bars as buffers against the rest of the creepy male population, for the guys who know a girl is fishing for compliments but give them out anyway, for the guys who always play by the rules in a game where the rules favor cheaters, for the guys who are accredited as boyfriend material but somehow don’t end up being boyfriends, for all the nice guys who are overlooked, underestimated, and unappreciated, for all the nice guys who are manipulated, misled, and unjustly abandoned, this is for you.

This is for that time she left 40 urgent messages on your cell phone, and when you called her back, she spent three hours painstakingly dissecting two sentences her boyfriend said to her over dinner. And even though you thought her boyfriend was a chump and a jerk, you assured her that it was all ok and she shouldn’t worry about it. This is for that time she interrupted the best killing spree you’d ever orchestrated in GTA3 to rant about a rumor that romantically linked her and the guy she thinks is the most repulsive person in the world. And even though you thought it was immature and you had nothing against the guy, you paused the game for two hours and helped her concoct a counter-rumor to spread around the floor. This is also for that time she didn’t have a date, so after numerous vows that there was nothing “serious” between the two of you, she dragged you to a party where you knew nobody, the beer was awful, and she flirted shamelessly with you, justifying each fit of reckless teasing by announcing to everyone: “oh, but we’re just friends!” And even though you were invited purely as a symbolic warm body for her ego, you went anyways. Because you’re nice like that.

The nice guys don’t often get credit where credit is due. And perhaps more disturbing, the nice guys don’t seem to get laid as often as they should. And I wish I could logically explain this trend, but I can’t. From what I have observed on campus and what I have learned from talking to friends at other schools and in the workplace, the only conclusion I can form is that many girls are just illogical, manipulative bitches. Many of them claim they just want to date a nice guy, but when presented with such a specimen, they say irrational, confusing things such as “oh, he’s too nice to date” or “he would be a good boyfriend but he’s not for me” or “he already puts up with so much from me, I couldn’t possibly ask him out!” or the most frustrating of all: “no, it would ruin our friendship.” Yet, they continue to lament the lack of datable men in the world, and they expect their too-nice-to-date male friends to sympathize and apologize for the men that are jerks. Sorry, guys, girls like that are beyond my ability to fathom. I can’t figure out why the connection breaks down between what they say (I want a nice guy!) and what they do (I’m going to sleep with this complete ass now!). But one thing I can do, is say that the nice-guy-finishes-last phenomenon doesn’t last forever. There are definitely many girls who grow out of that train of thought and realize they should be dating the nice guys, not taking them for granted. The tricky part is finding those girls, and even trickier, finding the ones that are single.
So, until those girls are found, I propose a toast to all the nice guys. You know who you are, and I know you’re sick of hearing yourself described as ubiquitously nice. But the truth of the matter is, the world needs your patience in the department store, your holding open of doors, your party escorting services, your propensity to be a sucker for a pretty smile. For all the crazy, inane, absurd things you tolerate, for all the situations where you are the faceless, nameless hero, my accolades, my acknowledgement, and my gratitude go out to you. You do have credibility in this society, and your well deserved vindication is coming.

In the beginning...

2005-02-18T09:53:00.000-08:00

We have just created First Call's blog-spot in the sun. This is going to be a forum for anything that people want it to be, kind of like our paper, except less structured. Here we will post the comments we receive about articles, even if they are a year old. We also want people to visit this and comment directly, here.